Wednesday, July 6, 2011

A Leaky Bucket

It is a well known fact that I cannot carry a tune. Not just like I'll never get a recording contract can't sing, but dogs howling and small children covering their ears and screaming can't sing. I come by this honestly from my father's side. None of the Buckminsters can sing. 

Buckminster is not my actual maiden name as I am on the down low here, but the name cracks me up. When I was pregnant with my son, my then 4 y/o daughter and I would look at name book after name book. One day we came across the name Buckminster and we cracked up. We then proceeded to call the unborn baby Buckminster. I had never heard of Buckminster Fuller (famous inventor architect dude) until after we started calling my stomach that, but just because there is a somewhat famous guy with that name does not take away from the fact that the name is funny. 

When I was in 6th grade I got selected for a role in our class play that required a bit of singing. I told the music teacher that I couldn't sing. He said he would work with me and it would be fine. I said no, really, I can't sing. He said it would be fine. After one rehearsal it was decided that the during my solo I would step over near the choir and they would sing with me. I'm pretty sure I was told to sing quietly or possibly to just mouth the words.

In college I repeatedly took a course called Gospel Choir. It wasn't gospel music appreciation it was a full on choir. I know, I know...why in the hell would I sign up for a class where I had to sing? Well it was a very large class and pretty much everyone I knew took it. If you showed up to class and a certain of number of concerts during the quarter, you got 4 easy units of A. No brainer! I always sang quietly and tried not to call attention to myself. The guy who taught it was really good at picking out when someone was off. He would isolate it to the alto, soprano, tenor, etc. section and then go row by row and a few people at a time until he found the offender. The instructor wasn't being a hard ass he was being helpful and I was in awe of his skills. I was also terrified of being singled out and having him try to help me already knowing I was beyond help. One of the quarters I sat next to a friend who actually asked me to just mouth the words, because when I sang even ever so quietly it threw her off key. 

The worst is when the Buckminster family gets together for birthday parties. We are all such notoriously bad singers that we don't even try to sound good. We go the other direction and make an effort to be extra loud and extra off key. It is god awful and hilarious. If you are a Buckminster and can sing- 1) How come I'm not aware of this? and B) You owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to the other 50% of your DNA! 

Peace & Love :-)

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