Friday, September 14, 2012

Almost Setting a Good Example

True confession time. 

I am a tad judgmental. 

I have not really gotten more mature over the years, but for the most part I've gotten better at faking it. Also, I am more willing to move past first impressions and give someone a chance. I try to not say things out loud in front of the children disparaging someone's appearance. However, if you prove to me through word or action that you are a douche bag, then I care not if you are winning any beauty pageants, I will not be shy about expressing what an ass hat you are. At least from the safety of my car. 

Yesterday, because I'm such a nice mom and also because I was craving a Matcha Green Tea Blast, I took the kids to Jamba Juice. I pull in the crowded parking lot and see an open spot right in front of Jamba. Perfect. I go to pull in said spot and there is a women (who was neither slight nor attractive) standing with the door of her car open in the next spot. She was going through papers of some sort. I pull partially into my spot and wait as I don't want to deal with the insurance hassle of ramming her or her car door. I wait uncharacteristically patiently. I do not honk. I do not gesture. I do not say mean things. I simply wait.

She keeps glancing up at me and going back to the papers. I smile and wait. After a minute or so, in a clearly huffy manner, she grabs her papers, slams her car door and stomps off to the other side of her car shaking her head.

Me: "I guess my nice waiting made her angry."

The boy: "Why is she so mad?"

Me: "I don't know. Just get out of the car and don't say anything."

We go in Jamba. Get our smoothies and get back in the car. As I'm pulling out of the spot I notice my parking lot friend coming out of Jamba.

Me: "Here comes the angry lady out of Jamba. I didn't even notice her in there."

The boy: "How come you made her so angry?"

Me: "Maybe she is having a bad day. Maybe she was already irritated and moving out of my way just sent her over the edge. It probably has very little to do with me." (notice how calm and super mature I'm being)

Me: "Or maybe she's jealous that I'm cuter than her." (not so mature, but clearly this is a joke and I cracked myself up)

The girl: (looking up from texting) "Are you talking about that fat old lady? Yeah, you are the winner of that cuteness contest Mom."

The boy: "Did you see her fat extra chin?"

I blame Scott.

Peace & Love ;-)

p.s. I did give the kids a spiel about judging folks based on what they do or say and not what they look like yada yada yada. 

Thursday, September 6, 2012

My Open Door Policy Reconsidered

Yesterday in the car with both kids.

The Girl (age 11): "I walked in on The Boy in the bathroom sitting on the toilet the other day. Gross."

The Boy (age 6): "You shouldn't come in there when I'm going potty!"

The Girl: "The light was off and the door was open! How was I supposed to know you were in there? When I use the bathroom the light is on, the fan is on, the door is closed and the door is locked."

Me: "How come you guys walk in and talk to me when I'm going potty?"

The Girl & The Boy in unison: "You always leave the door open!"

Me: "Even if I close the door you still think you can waltz in and talk to me."

The Girl: "It doesn't count if you close your main bathroom door, but not the one to the little toilet room. I think you are just doing your hair or something in the big part of the bathroom so I open the door."

The Boy: "Sometimes I come looking for you and I see you on the potty going pee or poop with the door open."

Me: "Okay, I don't always close the door when I pee, but I definitely close it when I poop. You guys never walk in on Dad going potty."

The Girl: "He closes the door!"

The Boy: "He would be mad."

Me: "I'm going to start closing the door and locking it. Every. Time."

Several Hours later just the Girl and I are home. I go to pee and nudge the door closed, but don't actually push it closed to latch or lock it resulting in it being slightly open.

The Girl (from around the corner and 2 rooms away): "See, you don't close the door."