Friday, March 30, 2012

Lil Tirade Gets A Facebook Page

After a solid 5 minutes of consideration, I've decided lil tirade should have her own my own her own Facebook page. Even though I remain anonymous on this blog, I have been sharing my blog posts on my personal Facebook page. If you already know me from Facebook, then you've cracked the code of who lil tirade is, because I've told you it's me.  

However, now that I've set up a lil tirade page, I think I'll stop sharing the links as me. Just as lil tirade. So, if Facebook is how you know when I've written a new post then I suggest "liking" lil's page. In my imagination this will accomplish the following:

  • my fb friends will no longer be subjected to my blog posts should they not want to be.
  • my many, many, many readers that are not my personal friends can now follow lil on fb.
  • I can put a "follow me on fb" button thingy on the blog.
  • I can spend more time on fb.
  • I can be even more obnoxious as lil as I'm separating my stuff and her stuff, although that probably wouldn't stand up in court.

I hope if you like the blog, you'll like lil's page on fb. Even if you don't like the blog that much (which is confusing since you are reading it right now), maybe you could like lil's page and then hide it, cuz it would be awesome to have lots of likes.

peace & love ;-)

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Which part of "Hug & Go" do you not understand?

Lady in the maroon Escalade who parked your ginormous gas guzzler at the ass end of the drop off lane by the Kindergarten rooms for a good 5 minutes whilst dicking around in your vehicle and not dropping off a Kindergartener and then finally pulling through to the front of the line past all the empty curb space you had been ignoring to drop off a 5th grader, I am talking to you!

Seriously! What. The. Fuck? 

Drop off/pick up at my kids' school is a nightmare. My kids make fun of me, because from the safety and comfort of my own car I spend every morning explaining to the other parents how to use the drop off lane effectively and efficiently. The other parents can't hear me of course, but even if they could it wouldn't matter, because people are asshats.

The school does a good job of trying to make things run smoothly. There are 2 lanes running the same direction through the parking lot. The one next to the curb is for stopping and dropping off the students. "Hug & Go" people. It's on all the signs! The other lane is for getting the hell outta there. After dropping your precious bundles off, you should pull into the outer lane and exit the parking lot. Simple, yes? Apparently not. 

The Principal and/or a teacher as well as students in bright orange vest are along the curb encouraging people to pull all the way through to keep the traffic flowing, yet people still stop at the back end to let out their Kinders jamming up the line into the street rather than pulling through to the farthest available curb space. It's an extra maybe 30 feet for the kid to walk back. If you are concerned that your kid might wander in the wrong direction and you need a visual of them walking in their classroom, might I suggest parking, getting your ass out of the car and walking them in. The best is when people park their car in the drop off lane and proceed to get out of their car with the kid to walk them to class. 

It would be easier on the blood pressure to park on the street, get out and walk the kids in, but Kindergarten starts at 7:40 in the a.m. and I much prefer to roll through the drop off lane in my pajamas. 

This morning, while I spent an eternity wedged between the nonmoving Caddy & some poor innocent parent behind me practically on my bumper just trying to get out of the street and into the drop off lane, I came oh so close to taking my sage advice out of my car and directly to the woman in the Escalade so clearly in need of my assistance. I considered laying on my horn and decided that would be pretty obnoxious and then I contemplated getting out of my car, knocking on her window and imparting my wisdom upon her. 2 things stopped me. 

1. I would be setting a terrible example leaving my car parked in the drop off lane during "hug & go" time.


2. I was in my robe.

Peace, love & deep breaths ;-)

Thursday, March 15, 2012


Be prepared to be irked. Possibly quite pissed. Maybe even reach through the computer and bitch slap somebody angry.

I am having the hardest time adjusting to real life after returning from the cruise. 

My breakfast view one week ago (Cabo)

I know, I know, you wish you had such problems. You want to smack me. Well, you can't. Go ahead and call me names. It might help. I totally understand. I'll wait...

I don't want you to worry about me though. I will be okay. 

One day soon I will snap out of it and stop: 
  • Being surprised that no one has come to tidy my house after we've left in the morning. 
  • Wondering where the towel animal and chocolates are and why my bed looks like it was never made instead of perfectly turned down.
  • Looking for the buffet.
  • Expecting a fabulous show before dinner.
  • Looking for Captain Jack Sparrow coming down the hallway.
  • Assuming I can sleep till whenever.
  • Wondering where my dining room servers are and what they've done with the chef.
  • Trying to drop my kids at super fun kids' clubs 100 yards from the house.
  • Thinking the biggest decisions of the day are what to drink, what time to start drinking, and what is the perfect pace for making it to all the desired activities.
I'm just going to have to accept that:
  • I'm the only one who will tidy the house.
  • The only towels on the bed will be damp ones left there after morning showers. There will be no turn down service.
  • The only buffets in town are not the kind I'm looking for.
  • The pre-dinner show here is homework and sports practices.
  • It's unlikely I can get Scott to don his Captain Jack outfit and wander around the house more than once a week.
  • It will be impossible to sleep in because I am back to mapping out the day and making lists in my head at 5 a.m.
  • Joseph & Arjay will not be handing me a menu and taking my order. They won't be sending the chef either.
  • I've got to take the kids to school and then chauffeur them to activities.
  • What & when to drink are still on the list, but are so far down it I can't quite see them from the top of the list in the morning.
Le sigh....

What's a sad, spoiled gal to do.... start researching and planning the next cruise of course. Silly people! More naming calling? Yep. I get it. 

Peace & Love ;-)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Goodbye Reality

Scott and I are taking the children and a suitcase full of booze and going on a cruise.

Goodbye laundry.

Goodbye housekeeping.

Goodbye cooking.

Goodbye lacrosse, baton and tball practices.

Goodbye Facebook.

Goodbye Scrabble.

Goodbye phone calls, texts & emails.

Goodbye work.

Goodbye meetings.

Goodbye PTA & committees.

Goodbye kids' taxi service.

Goodbye blogging.

And goodbye peeps.