Wednesday, December 12, 2012

My name isn't Suzy!

I'm having a bit of an identity crisis. 

Lately, I've been having a lot of Suzy Homemaker moments. And while technically I am a "homemaker", I don't identify myself that way. 

Loving, Devoted Wife & Mother. Yes.

Stay at Home Mom. Yes.

Retired Speech-Language Pathologist. Yes. 

Xbike Instructor. Yes.

Damn Good Friend. Yes.

Sometimes Blogger. Yes.

Witty Bitch. Yes.

Maid. Yes.

Cook. Yes.

Laundry Fairy. Yes.

Hunter & Gatherer. Yes.

Wine lover. Yes. 

Over-volunteerer. Yes.

Homemaker. Wait, What?

I'm not sure why I don't identify with the term homemaker or why this label irks me. Labels don't matter, right? I guess in my head it just seems so 1950s. Not that there was anything wrong with being a homemaker in the 50s. (Best to cover my bases in case one of my dead grandmothers gets wind of this. They could be reading over my shoulder. Sometimes one of them makes the lights in my house flicker. True story.) I've even heard that doctors in the 50s were pretty liberal with the valium for those homemakers, so there's that. What? Widespread valium use doesn't go in the pro column? Oh. My mistake. 

Anyway, here are some of the occurrences of late that have given me the homemaker hibbie jibbies. 

1. I got a Shark Steam Mop and I am ridiculously excited about it. A mop!?! WTF? I love it. I tell people about it. 

2. I've been ironing Scott's shirts. I. DON'T. IRON. Yet, I've ironed his shirts now on 2 occasions. Maybe I've been replaced by one of those Stepford Wives? 

3. I got new plungers at Costco today and I cannot wait for someone to clog up the toilet so I can try one out, which I'm sure will be soon as for some mysterious reason we use plungers quite a bit at our house. We blame the toilets. Ok, so hear me out on this. Rubbermaid has this new genius plunger called the Clean & Dry Plunger. Scott showed me an ad for it this morning on Youtube and we were both sadly very intrigued. Then I saw a 2 pack at Costco and got so excited that I texted Scott a pic and put them in my cart pronto. The plunger "repels water & other things". The demo in the ad is super cool. Go ahead and Goggle it. I'll wait. 

Yeah, big sigh, I'm a Homemaker. Better than a Homewrecker. I aspire to one day be a Lady of Leisure, but until I get a staff to mop the floor and plunge the toilet, I'm happy to have the latest and greatest technology to help me do the job.

Peace & Love ;-)