Friday, December 23, 2011

Love it! Want it! Need it!

The other night some friends and I went to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I've read the book and knew we were in for some dark and heavy stuff. The movie was well done and fairly true to the book though I think I would have been lost in places if I had not read the book. Lucky for you, I'm not confused enough to think I'm a movie reviewer and that's not what this post is about. 

This post is about the most fabulous t-shirt I've ever seen worn by Lisbeth Salander in the movie that said:

I couldn't find an image of her in it from the movie, but I did find it for sale on the interweb and you can buy it here.

If you haven't read the book or seen the movie then you don't know that this girl has had a very rough go in life and this is the perfect shirt for her. Just perfect! My first reaction when I saw her in it was to laugh. It was a rare moment of levity in this heavy story. 

My second reaction was to turn to my friend and say, "Is it too late for me to put that on my Xmas list?!!" 

I heart this shirt! It speaks to me. 

Why am I coveting this? 

I have had some bummer things happen in my life, but nothing approaching the Lisbeth character's woes. So it's not that. 

It's not appropriate to cruise around town in. Not exactly the right thing for school pick up. I can't even wear it around my house as my children can read. It's not like they've never heard that word come flying out of my mouth, but this would be a bit in their face. So it's not that.

I do really love the word fuck. It's all purpose. I can use it as any part of speech. It can be used for good or evil. So I guess that's part of it. 

But also, even though that's not what's in my head most of the time, there are definitely times it's flashing in there fast and furious. Wouldn't it be nice when faced with a person of an assholish nature to just point at your awesome t-shirt and smile? Yep, that's it. 

I think what I'm going to do is order several of the shirts in an extra small and modify them into tank tops which I can then wear as undershirts. That way on any given day I'll be ready to strip down, point, and smile.

peace & love :-)

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

No Holiday Card For You!

3 years ago I stopped sending Christmas cards. We were in the midst of upheaval and transition and sacrifices had to be made. Those cards were the first thing to take a hit. BIG time and money saver. I originally thought that it would be a 1 year card hiatus, but I have not be inspired to go back to my old ways. I post a picture and a message on facebook where I am connected to most of the people I would send cards to and my mom puts my whole family on her card so all the relatives can see just how adorable my kids are. All bases covered.

This year though after my mom put together her card, I almost wanted to send one of my own. She has a card with a group picture that includes my family of 4, my siblings and my parents. She lists our names and a very brief description, i.e. Scott (CEO), brother #2 (substitute teacher), etc. It's a lovely card. 

Some of us thought she should use some other descriptions. Brother #2 requested to be listed as "nomad" which is as true as the substitute teacher thing and Scott had a different suggestion which means basically the same as CEO, but much funnier. 

Mom wasn't having any of our tomfoolery and sent out her appropriate, normal version of the card. Thus, leaving me with the urge to do an alternate one. As I didn't really want to go through the hassle and expense of doing an actual card, I'm doing it here:

Lil Tirade (Bon Bon Eater)
Scott (HMFIC)
The Girl (Professional Eye Roller)
 The Boy (Furniture Stuntman)
 Sugar (most ironically named cat ever- she will cut a bitch!)
Barley (his New Year's resolution is to become fatter than Garfield)
(professional attention seeker [family dog. not pictured as she's on vacation at my parents again])

Merry Festivus!

peace & love :-)

p.s. Thanks to my family for donning disguises and posing in front of the tree at 6:30 yesterday morning, after I came bounding down the stairs shouting, "I have a really funny idea!" I may also have said something like, "I'm turning 40 in a couple days. Humor me!" 

The girl did point out the irony of posing for a picture for a blog she's not allowed to read. Maybe I'll let her read this post. It's pretty tame. Well, except for her father being the HMFIC. Never mind.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

It's the most wonderful time of the year?

18 days until Christmas. 

It's crunch time people. 

The convergence of holidays and birthdays makes the end of October through mid January the busiest chunk of the year at my house, but like lots of folks Thanksgiving thru Xmas is a marathon that feels like a sprint. We have the usual stuff plus my birthday (7 more days in my 30s) and the boy's birthday plus 3 extended family birthdays.

I've started shopping, we have the tree and the tree is decorated as is the interior of the house.

So all I have left to do in the next 17 days is: 

Finish shopping, start wrapping, finish wrapping, deliver gift tree gifts, get pap smear and mammogram, bake cupcakes for the boy's birthday at school, hang the outside lights, get the girl to volleyball, attend school holiday dine out, get the girl to baton, get the girl to a lacrosse clinic, bake a rum cake, go to holiday party, get the boy to basketball, drive around pointing and ohhing at other people's lights, find someone to switch classroom workdays for the boy's classroom so I can go on the girl's field trip, go on field trip, attend the girl's band concert, get hair cut and colored, have birthday dinner with friends, celebrate festivus (When is festivus again? I don't want to miss the airing of grievances. I wonder where I put that pole?), attend neighborhood Santa Parade, help the girl finish her sewing projects for her friend gift exchange, send books with the kids for their holiday book exchanges, turn 40, go to the City for my birthday, shop with Mom & sister & the girl for said birthday, have birthday dinner with Dad, more baton, more basketball, celebrate the boy's birthday, go to cookie party, bake more cupcakes for the boy's birthday party, have seven 5/6 y/o boys over for the boy's pirate birthday party, bake 2 more rum cakes, pack car, go to parents house on Xmas eve, and stay up after kids to fill stockings and put out Santa gifts. 

All that while still doing the 2 part time jobs, the laundry, the cleaning, the lunch making and on and on.

Your list is probably similar.

We're nuts, right?

Every fucking year I am in this predicament. A bunch of wonderful individual events slammed together in a few short weeks.

But, what's a super mom to do? Cancel Xmas? Hell no! This super mom is going to bitch a bit on her blog, pour some wine and soldier on. I'm the mom and that's my job. 

A few years ago we went to the Caribbean for Xmas which was fanfuckingtastic and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Seriously. Are you reading this Scott? Make the reservations! But, it didn't get me out of getting a tree, decorating the house and shopping for Xmas gifts that could be easily schlepped in a suitcase. We didn't leave until the 21st so perhaps that was the flaw in the plan. Maybe if we leave earlier we could skip the normal holiday trappings. So, the day after Thanksgiving thru New Years next year in the Caribbean it is! Solid plan! I'm all in. Scott? 

Happy Fucking Holidays! xoxo

peace & love :-)!

p.s. As I was editing this:

Scott: I have to figure out if I'm getting gifts for anyone in the office.

Me: Don't add it to my list!

Scott: Okay.

Me: Go ahead and do it if you want, but leave me the fuck out of it. Remember last year, when I made all those mini rum cakes at the last minute after running all over town searching for the pans? That nearly drove me over the edge!

Scott: But now we have the pans (giant idiot grin).


Friday, December 2, 2011

Dearest Sleep Fairy....

Dearest Sleep Fairy (or do you prefer Goddess of Sleep?),

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are the best! I had no idea you were listening last night when Scott and I were bitching about our sleep issues. You are a really careful listener, aren't you? When I told Scott that I would gladly wake up at 5 a.m., if I could just get through the 3 a.m. & 4 a.m. hours sans tossing and turning and crazy list making and worry, I did mean it. So again, I thank you for making my sleep dreams come true. I slept like a rock through the wee hours of the morning and my eyes popped open at exactly 5:00 a.m. today. Very impressive. 

At the risk of sounding like an ingrate, I would like to amend my 'dream of sleep statement' to say, "I would gladly wake up at 6 a.m., 7 a.m. on the weekends, if I could just get through the early morning hours in a deep unfettered sleep." I fear it's too much to ask and that I'm being greedy, but I cannot stop myself from submitting the request. 

If you can see it in your heart to do this for me, I won't bother you anymore. You can even stop dropping by my house and checking in. I'll be set, the kids have years of magical kid sleep left and Scott's on his own here. He's an adult, he'll have to figure out how to communicate with you directly. This is about me. 

Plus, I might still be holding a tiny grudge from when the kids were babies and waking up multiple times during the night to nurse. The man would sleep through all the various baby disruptions (that were for the most part going on in his bed as we co-slept with each baby) and then ask me in the morning "how was your night?" landing me somewhere between extreme bitterness and murderous rage depending on the day.

I sincerely hope that my longing for sweet heavy slumber hasn't resulted in your annoyance, umbrage, ire or any other type of displeasure. If the 6 a.m., 7  a.m. on weekends, thing is too much, I'll happily stick with the 5 a.m. wake-up. Just please, please, please don't send me back to see 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. I've tried breaking up with 4 a.m. myself and that jackass refuses to take a hint.

Finally, if you see fit to grant my humble request, I'll have your back. Anytime. Anywhere. Just tell me what you need and it's done. As long as it's not illegal. I'm sure I wouldn't sleep well in prison and then all of it would have been for naught.