Sunday, August 7, 2011


We rolled in late last night from a great vacation at my Dad's lake cabin. Yay us! We had to drive a long ass way to get there and back though. Boo! It's about 15 hours with pee and food stops. We have a big vehicle, a built in DVD player and a number of personal electronics between the 4 of us. The situation could be way, way worse. I max out on the license plate alphabet game and I Spy after about 30 minutes. One time when our son was 18 months old we did an 8 hour drive during the day. We spent all of his waking time on that trip pointing out trains, tractors, loaders and cement trucks. It was exhausting. The fact that both kids can now zone out to screens for hours in the car is awesome. I can take a quick Scrabble turn or do a quick facebook check when there is a signal to be had, but can't actually read or play iPad games or I'll get pukey. Scott prefers to drive so I sit in the passenger seat sleeping, eating, changing the movie, chatting, judiciously iPhoning and after about hour 10 I go car crazy. I start bouncing around and saying, "Are we there yet?" over and over. I might throw in a "What do you want to talk about?" perhaps accompanied by a poke in the arm. This annoys Scott.

We didn't take the most direct route on the way to the cabin as we went to visit Scott's cousin, his wife (the cousin's wife, not Scott's other wife) and their 7 week old baby. Okay, we were really there for the baby, but we acted like we were interested in the adults too. It's only polite. As a bonus the path we traveled took us past exit 86 in Oregon on the I-5. At exit 86 one can find Heaven on Earth, a restaurant and bakery, where one can get the yummiest, gooiest, giantest cinnamon rolls. That day we drove 12 hours. Highlights included:
  • Stopping a few hours in to walk around because the 5 y/o thought he might puke. We've discovered small screens on the lap = puking or near puking, but the ceiling DVD player that he looks up and forward at = all good. I considered it might be a ploy to commandeer the DVD player, but he actually hurled in the car a couple weeks ago coming home from Tahoe and he would love to get his little hands on the iPad so probably it's a legit issue.
  • Me wanting coffee after the cinnamon roll stop, being too lazy to pour coffee from the thermos into the travel cup, attempting to drink straight from the thermos, miscalculating where the coffee comes out and pouring hot coffee all down the front of me, me cursing, and Scott chiming in after I scalded myself with, "That thermos isn't meant for drinking straight out of". 
  • The 10 year old somehow getting chocolate onto her earbuds and then across her face and in her ear.
  • Me wanting Subway instead of fast food, me saying "We aren't going to see any Subway signs on the freeway just crap fast food signs", seeing a Blimpie in a truck stop sign, going to the slowest Blimpie ever, Scott being grouchy at the wait, me yelling at Scott about being grouchy and accusing him of preferring to make me eat crappy, greasy food rather than wait a few minutes for a sandwich, and then proceeding to see approximately 50 Subway signs between the Blimpie stop and our destination.
  • The standard: "Don't lean on my pillow.", "Don't touch my blanket.", "I'm not giving you a sip of my drink because you only gave me ONE of your fries." comments from the 2nd row.
  • Me having knee pain, ass pain, reeking like coffee, and all of us going car crazy at hour 10.
Upon arrival we found our relatives in their sunny backyard with a gorgeous view drinking with the neighbors and they shared. Awesome.

After a couple nights in the beautiful Pacific Northwest it was time to carry on. (BTW, whenever I'm in Portland or Seattle the weather is lovely. I think the dreary weather is a myth made up by locals to keep more people from moving there.) The 6 hour car ride to the cabin was cake after that 12 hour drive we started with.

Fast forward through the wonderful vacation and it was time to saddle up and go home. This time straight through. 15 hours give or take. Sigh. 
  • Scott drove. The kids screened. I slept, ate, changed the movie, chatted, held the phone up to the sky looking for 3G or at least E so I could take a Scrabble turn and tried not to request a pee stop more than every couple hours. 
  • The kids squabbled a bit, but then we separated them by we moving the 10 y/o to the 3rd row and there was peace throughout the car.
  • At hour 10 my ass was really, really, really hurting so I scooted down with my legs up on the dash so my weight was on the high ass/lower back region. In this position the shoulder strap on the seat belt was going right across my throat. Then I started having Ally McBeal type visions, that belonged in an opening of a Six Feet Under episode, of Scott slamming on the brakes and the seat belt decapitating me thus compelling me to sit up again. About this time I noticed how uncomfortable both by bra and sunglasses had become. Being in a 3G zone I naturally posted my bra and sunglasses issue on facebook. I got a very helpful suggestion to "take 'em off" from a guy of course. Not a bad idea for the bra, but undoable for the sunglasses. 
  • We spent way to long driving through Klamath Falls looking for fast food. We finally found a Wendy's where I had my second fast food grilled chicken wrap o' the day. If I had been forced to guess I would have said that the Wendy's chicken wrap had more potential than the McDonald's one, but really pretty much a draw. Both edible, but not exciting. The strawberry-banana smoothie from McDonald's was tasty, but the classic chocolate frosty at Wendy's was more exciting and probably not higher in calories. I generally spend my time driving around looking for anything but fast food, but it was time to be all done and get home. Desperate times.
  • When we drove through Weed I wanted to stop and get an "I heart Weed" t-shirt, but Scott kept driving.
  • We got home around 11. The kids had been asleep in the car and only woke up enough to get to their beds and crash. Scott and I were exhausted, but awake...until 1:30am...WTF?

Whoever said "getting there is half the fun" was on crack or didn't have a very good time once they got there.  

Peace & Love :-)

1 comment:

  1. When we drove through Weed on our way across the country I stopped and bought an I Heart Weed coffee mug. Great minds, yada yada.


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