Saturday, February 18, 2012

4 Phone Calls & A Sporting Goods Store

1st Phone Call:

Me: "Tball and lacrosse practices start next week. The boy needs pants, socks, a belt and a cup for tball and the girl needs cleats for lacrosse. I have time to take them this afternoon or it can wait for over the weekend if you want to do it." 

Scott: "If you have time, go ahead and take them." (no doubt with a smug smile on his face)

Arrive at sports store.

Head to the display o' cups.

I have been told by my mom pals to get the underwear with the cup insert for the 6 year old rather than the leg strap one so that much I know. We start looking at choices and a brave young employee approaches and asks if he can help. 

"We are shopping for our first cup!" I announce. "Well not me, him" (pointing to the boy). The worker dude helps me figure which are the underwear kind and which size will likely be best (from the sizing chart of course, no junk measuring required). 

I open the package to check out the whole situation and the boy freaks out. "I don't wear that kind of underwear!" he screams (he wears boxer briefs, not briefs, never briefs!)

Me: "I think you'll like it better than this other strap thing. You have to wear a cup for tball. Don't you want to play tball?"

The boy: "I don't wear that kind of underwear!"

Thank the tball gods, upon further inspection of the cup kiosk there was in fact boxer style cup underwear. Mutual meltdown averted. 

We find the socks and the belt. We find 3 pant choices and spend way too long in the dressing room evaluating the tightness in the waist and bagginess in the ass ratio. 

The boy: "I need a helmet."

Me: "I thought Daddy said they had helmets for you to use."

The boy: "The coaches recommend you have your own helmet."

Me: "Okay. Let's look and I'll call Dad."

2nd Phone Call part 1: 

Scott: Voicemail.

Me: Hang up without message.

The boy tries on helmets and I go from thinking a personal helmet is ridiculous to wondering how gross the shared helmets are to thinking about lice to deciding to buy the boy a helmet in about 20 seconds. The boy finds a helmet he likes. He likes the black one, but he likes the strap on the blue one better because it has a thing that sits under the chin, but the black one doesn't. I unsnap the strap from the blue and put it on the black. Viola.

The boy: "Can you do that?"

Me: "I just did."

2nd Phone Call part 2:

Scott: "You rang?"

Me: "I just called to ask what you thought about getting a tball helmet, but I already told the boy he could get one so it doesn't matter what you say."

Scott: "What if I say no?"

Me: laughing myself silly "Goodbye."

Tball supplies gathered we head to shoes for the girl. I should mention here that the girl is notoriously hard to buy shoes for. 

Endless style and size tries later:

The girl: "These might work with longer socks. Didn't you say they would give me matching socks?"

Me: "Matching socks? Huh?"

The girl: "When you looked at the website you said there were matching socks."

Me: "What? Let me call Dad."

3rd Phone Call:

Me: "When you went to to the lacrosse meeting did they say anything about socks?"

Scott: "White pants, black socks and black belt."

Me: "That's tball. I'm talking lacrosse. What's the sock situation for lacrosse?"

Scott: "I think they said something about socks..."

Me: "I'm calling a lacrosse mom."

Turns out they do not give you socks and you can wear whatever the hell kind of socks you want. The girl wants long socks in teal and also purple so she can wear one color of each. 

Me: "Fine. Get both packs. Open one. Try the shoes on again."

We have now been in the sports store for an interminable amount of time. While on the phone with my friend about the socks the boy gets in trouble for running in circles and messing with his sister and forces me to sternly under my breath say "You sit down right here and don't move till I say so!" giving my friend a good laugh.

The shoes don't work even with the long socks. 

Me: "We are done here. We'll get the socks and the boy's tball stuff and go to another store for cleats."

4th Phone Call:

Me: "We got everything except the girl's cleats. I thought maybe you could meet us at sports store B if you're kinda close on your way home?"

Scott: "I'm already home."

And so it goes.

peace & love ;-)

p.s. I could not face sports store B. One of us (I nominate Scott) has to make a second attempt before Tuesday.

p.p.s. The boy wanted to try on all his new tball gear for Scott when we got home and proceeded to wear his cup underwear for over 3 hours to "get used to it". There was even more adjusting going on than usual which actually gives some insight to the whole baseball constant crotch touching mystery.

p.p.p.s I know technically there were 5 phone calls, but the title refers to the 4 Scott phone calls. I just didn't like the title of 4 Scott Phone Calls & A Sporting Goods Store as much.

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