Friday, December 2, 2011

Dearest Sleep Fairy....

Dearest Sleep Fairy (or do you prefer Goddess of Sleep?),

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are the best! I had no idea you were listening last night when Scott and I were bitching about our sleep issues. You are a really careful listener, aren't you? When I told Scott that I would gladly wake up at 5 a.m., if I could just get through the 3 a.m. & 4 a.m. hours sans tossing and turning and crazy list making and worry, I did mean it. So again, I thank you for making my sleep dreams come true. I slept like a rock through the wee hours of the morning and my eyes popped open at exactly 5:00 a.m. today. Very impressive. 

At the risk of sounding like an ingrate, I would like to amend my 'dream of sleep statement' to say, "I would gladly wake up at 6 a.m., 7 a.m. on the weekends, if I could just get through the early morning hours in a deep unfettered sleep." I fear it's too much to ask and that I'm being greedy, but I cannot stop myself from submitting the request. 

If you can see it in your heart to do this for me, I won't bother you anymore. You can even stop dropping by my house and checking in. I'll be set, the kids have years of magical kid sleep left and Scott's on his own here. He's an adult, he'll have to figure out how to communicate with you directly. This is about me. 

Plus, I might still be holding a tiny grudge from when the kids were babies and waking up multiple times during the night to nurse. The man would sleep through all the various baby disruptions (that were for the most part going on in his bed as we co-slept with each baby) and then ask me in the morning "how was your night?" landing me somewhere between extreme bitterness and murderous rage depending on the day.

I sincerely hope that my longing for sweet heavy slumber hasn't resulted in your annoyance, umbrage, ire or any other type of displeasure. If the 6 a.m., 7  a.m. on weekends, thing is too much, I'll happily stick with the 5 a.m. wake-up. Just please, please, please don't send me back to see 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. I've tried breaking up with 4 a.m. myself and that jackass refuses to take a hint.

Finally, if you see fit to grant my humble request, I'll have your back. Anytime. Anywhere. Just tell me what you need and it's done. As long as it's not illegal. I'm sure I wouldn't sleep well in prison and then all of it would have been for naught. 


1 comment:

What say you?