It's not you, it's me

Dear 4am,


I don't think we should see each other anymore. Things just aren't working out. As I consider our relationship, I can't find anything positive in it for me. It's filled with worry, angst and frustration. I have a great, relatively low stress life, yet with you I find endless anxiety. I realize we are not alone in our relationship. Bladder is a major conspirator in bringing us together. I have been discussing bladder's tomfoolery with her for years. Some nights things between us seem to improve only to go downhill the next. Obviously I cannot cut bladder out of my life. But, you, 4am, will have to go on without me. The list making, the rehashing of the schedule, the weighing of which activity to sign the kids up for, the wondering what we have on hand to pack for lunches, the trying to recall if the bills have all been paid, the fretting about if I will someday need full time gainful employment so the kids can go to college and/or so Scott can one day retire, the worrying the kids will move far away after college and have babies that I won't see often enough, the imagining the horror of me, Scott or one of the kids having an accident or getting a horrible disease...ALL HAVE TO STOP. In addition the tossing and turning, the clock checking, and the falling asleep just long enough to have a cockamamie dream before waking are not working for me either. Can we agree to ignore each other should we be unwittingly brought together? Can you pretend not to notice me and I will close my eyes and return to restful sleep? If you've ever felt anything for me, please do this. I would sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, really really appreciate it. 


xoxo,


~LT