My Dog Is An Awesome Dog

The other day I mentioned here that my dog, Z, eats cat shit. True story. My mother who, as I eluded to here (see #20) and here (see Turkey section), LOVES LOVES LOVES my dog texted me the following in response:


Mom: "I believe ur last tirade crossed the line of respect regarding Z and ur characterization of her habits (not wine choices) was distasteful"


Me: "I'm pretty sure it's not defamation of character if it's true, but I'll check with my attorney. It does sound a little like you're building a custody case so I probably should contact said attorney in any case."


Mom: "All in jest re: Z"


I totally scared her into backing off with that attorney talk. She doesn't want to lose access to the dog or probably the kids, but the while the kids have school and sports and can't hang out for weeks on end, Z is generally available for extended stays with my parents. We had dogs growing up and while they were cared for, they were not doted on. Z, however, is doted on as is her cousin G (my sister's dog). 


While it's true that Z does eat some gross stuff including cat shit and sometimes has room clearing gas, (those 2 things seem related, no?), and she is kinda a spaz on the leash, and she has chronic ear issues (not her fault) we really did luck out with her. I'm okay with dogs, but am not "a dog person". I DID NOT want a puppy. We were able to get Z from a friend of a friend when she was 4, because Z's previous owners were sadly court ordered to get rid of their dogs. Something about a dug under fence and a neighbor's dead fainting goat. I was never 100% clear on the story, but it doesn't matter. Their loss was our (and I'm including my parents and my siblings here) gain. Z is a fantastic dog. Let me count the ways:


1. She could not be sweeter with the kids.


2. She has a bladder and bowels of steel. She has never, ever had any kind of potty accident. She can be inside for 15+ hours at a time no problem.


3. She is super easy to train. I trained her to chase turkeys out of the yard and come straight back. 


4. She will accompany you wherever you'd like to go. The mailbox? The park? A ride in the car around the block? From the family room to the kitchen? Yes, please!


5. She doesn't run off. In a few isolated incidents she has been inadvertently left out and as soon as we realize it, whether it is in 5 minutes or 5 hours, we find her sitting on the front porch.

6. She will chase the ball as many times as the kids will throw it. She may be exhausted and trying to lay on the ball and hide it, but if one of the kids unearths it and throws it, she will go get it. 

7. She will run right into a creek, river or lake no matter what the temperature, but she steers clear of our pool which means no dog hair to clean out of the pool and also less wet dog smell. Awesome.

40 degree water. No problemo. 

8. She stays downstairs at night even though we are upstairs. Given an invitation she would gladly come up the stairs and get in our bed, but we don't invite her and she doesn't try to come up. 

9. She an excellent broom/mop. We don't give her people food, but she's really good at finding and taking care of spills, dribbles, and piles of crumbs. She often lays under the kids stools while they eat just waiting for the inevitable. She did a fantastic job on the wine spill in the garage. According to my mother, Z even likes coffee. Only when a few drop are accidentally splashed on the floor of course. No one would actually ever pour any extra on the floor for the dog on purpose. Allegedly. 

10. She is beautiful. She should be in commercials. It's true. I'm not just saying that because she is my dog. Just ask my mother.

She could so star in those baked bean ads.

Peace & Love :-)