I should be scrubbing toilets.

Something very strange is going on with me. I'm leaving for vacation soon and I'm not stressing out about cleaning the house. If you find this confusing click here and all will be explained. I should be dusting, vacuuming and scrubbing, but I'm just not feeling it. I feel I should be feeling it, but I'm not. Trying to get in the spirit of my usual pre-vacation neurosis, I did clean my bathroom yesterday and while I like that it's clean, I do not feel compelled to press on.


This is worrisome. Seriously, what is wrong with me? Am I depressed? I don't think so. Here's what I know:

• I'm pretty darn excited about the vacation with Scott to include sand, sea, beer & tequila sans children. Yay!
• My sleep patterns seem the same. They are as jacked up as they ever were and I'm tired like I've been for the last 12 years.
• I'm exercising and getting high from it. I get paid to do it, so I'm really not sure if would be motivated to go right now otherwise. I don't ask myself that. I just do it. 
• I have been doing an excellent job shoving food in my face lately, but I go through cycles. Eat, drink, be merry and gain 5, followed by get strict with myself and lose the 5. I blame my daughter who has decided to be a baker this summer. It would be very rude of me not to eat all the yummy stuff she's been filling the kitchen with. (Um, yeah, there's probably some kind of eating issue in there. It's no secret I have a sugar addiction. Let's just gloss over that for now. Okay? Great.)
• I'm still feeling the happy moments and getting fired up when appropriate or sometimes when it's not.

Yep, I seem pretty much the same minus the clean house neurosis. 

I have noticed I've been going a little longer over the last few months between serious house cleanings. Perhaps, subconsciously, I've been lowering the family's expectations so that in a few weeks when, for the first time in 11 years and 9 months, I have all my offspring in school from 8-2, they aren't wondering what in the hell I'm doing all day? The cleaner house will be a sign that finally I have time to get shit done.

Here's the problem with that, if indeed that 's what I've been doing, I don't think I'm going to feel like cleaning the house then either. 

Maybe I've just matured and have gained an understanding that in the grand scheme of things an uber clean house is overrated? That can't be right. There must be something wrong with me and there must be a drug for it. I better watch some TV and wait for one of the drug companies to inform me what I should ask my doctor about. 

Peace & Love :-)

Goodbye Reality

Scott and I are taking the children and a suitcase full of booze and going on a cruise.

Goodbye laundry.

Goodbye housekeeping.

Goodbye cooking.

Goodbye lacrosse, baton and tball practices.

Goodbye Facebook.

Goodbye Scrabble.

Goodbye phone calls, texts & emails.

Goodbye work.

Goodbye meetings.

Goodbye PTA & committees.

Goodbye kids' taxi service.

Goodbye blogging.

And goodbye peeps.

All Aboard...

I have a confession. I'm the teeny tiniest bit OCD about my house. It's not that my house is spotless all the time, but I really do enjoy a picked up non-cluttered living space. I have 2 kids, a husband, pets and a life so the house isn't always picked up, but most people who come to my house don't believe that. It's true that 99% of the time if you come to my house it's totally picked up. But here's the thing, 99% of the time I KNOW YOUR COMING and I've just spent the last 5-10 minutes as a whirling dervish cleaning up the house. It makes me tachycardic and fidgety to let someone in the door when there are shoes, blankets and pillows strewn about the floor and there are dishes on the counter. 


Leaving the house for a vacation ramps up my issues. I cannot bear the thought of coming home to a cluttered or dirty house. Not only do I need the house picked up, but I need it cleaned toilets and all. The instant clutter created by returning home from vacation and having the entire contents of the car deposited in the hallway is bad enough, but adding a floor that needs vacuuming or a toilet that needs scrubbing to the homecoming will drive me right over the edge.


I have several friends that share my need to come home to a clean house after vacation. So whether or not most people would consider this normal at least I'm not alone. 


However, the second and possibly nowhere in the neighborhood of normal part of me not wanting to embark on a vacation with a dirty house is... what if due to a horrible accident, I die on vacation and then whoever has to deal with my house after I'm dead walks in on a dirty mess? After one of my friends told me she literally vacuums her way out of the house when leaving for vacation, I felt safe enough to share this with her and she looked at me like I just went off the rails of Ozzy's Crazy Train. Feel free to twirl your finger around by your ear and point at your screen.


I'm completely aware that this is not a rational line of thinking. If I'm dead and Scott and the kids are not, then I'm pretty sure he's not going to notice if the house needs cleaning. He doesn't notice now so why would that change? Plus, obviously, he would be too bereft to care. Ditto with my parents. I don't really know who I think is going to come into my house and start trashing a dead woman for her housekeeping skills or lack thereof. It is incredibly rude to speak ill of the dead after all. Not to mention in this scenario I'm dead and I would not even be capable of caring what people thought about me. I don't much care what people think now, except that I don't want you to think my house is dirty. Which leads us back to square one. 


I know. I know. Cuckcoo! 


While I'd love to take a good hard look at my neurosis with you here, we are leaving tomorrow for a week and I've got some cleaning to do.


Peace & Love :-)