You Look Tired

It's time to face facts. I need eye cream. Specifically the get rid of dark circles and reduce puffiness kind. Consider the evidence:

• In the only recent pictures I like of myself I'm wearing sunglasses.
• I never actually got sick that time I was so happy to blame my dark circles on illness.
• I've started using concealer under my eyes before going to the gym to teach whether the class is at 6 a.m. or 6 p.m.
• I've started using concealer under my eyes after evening showers even if I'll be home and only be up for short time before going to bed.
• There's been a recent run on the "you look tired" comments in my direction. I am tired a lot of the time, but not more so than I've generally been for the last 11 years.
• I've been scaring the hell out of myself in the mirror with alarming frequency. 

I finally broke the cycle of denial and googled "dark circles under eyes" and wowwie wow wow there is a veritable cornucopia of information. The bad news is my dark circles and puffiness seem likely related to age and loss of collagen or something like that. The good news is that there's no shortage of products for me to throw my $ at and hope they help. There's a lot of really expensive products available and a lot of testimonials to go with them. I will shell out more than seems reasonable for something that works, but am not sure how to determine what will work for me without actually trying the creams. Catch 22, no? 

I clicked some links. I read some reviews. I searched through my drawers and came up with a few tiny sample size eye creams which I promptly slathered under my eyes. Then I went to Target and got Olay Definity Eye Illuminator. It was $23 for .5 FL OZ which is pretty cheap for an eye cream with good reviews as far as I can tell. I'll let you know what I think of it. Unfortunately, I believe it is supposed to take a couple weeks of use before seeing results. You'll be shocked to know, patience is not my strong suit. 


If I don't see results, I will have Scott research what I should use. While he doesn't know bupkis about beauty products, he can research the hell out of anything. He will check endless websites, reviews and message boards. It's a fact that I'll look at a couple of choices (or only one if it's truly fabulous and I know I need it) and make a decision. Scott will look at every choice imaginable, weigh all the options, discuss all the options with whomever will feign interest and then finally make a choice. Eye cream research might not be as exciting as TV, phone, car or vacation research, but I'm sure he'd do it if I asked. Cause he loves me and I did just write that post about how awesome he is and he wouldn't want to sully his image on my blog. 


Peace & Love :-)

Mother Nature Can Bite Me!

I was inspecting my face this morning to see if anything needed to be popped, picked or plucked and I saw not one, but two little black hairs on my chin. WTF? How did those get there? I don't remember seeing them yesterday, but they were long enough that they had to be a few days old. Have I seriously been walking about sporting these chin hairs? I was horrified! These two weren't even the kind that hide under the chin and a little back. Oh no, they were prominently in front. I have a big thing against chin hair and regularly, some may say obsessively, check for them so it's very disconcerting that those two had gone unnoticed. Especially since I've had this nasty zit brewing just below my lip for days that I've been constantly checking to see if it's time to pop. I've been extra up close with that area of my face lately. Maybe I've been too focused on the zit? Maybe the chin hairs magically grew that entire length overnight? 


If I have interacted with you over the last couple of days and subjected you to this horror, 1. I apologize and B. Why didn't you say something? I mean not in an embarrassing way in front of other people like I did to my Mom one time in an ice cream place after she had so kindly taken me and a friend to see a movie. I was 11ish and I was actually trying to be helpful, but discrete I was not. Sorry Mom! I mean take me aside and gently break it to me or send me a text or something. I guess it's a bit awkward if you don't know someone really really really well to point out their crazy chin hairs. It is a little more personal than lipstick on the teeth, food stuck in the teeth or a tag sticking up. However, I give you permission in the future to instruct me to tweeze. I assure you I'm not trying to go natural and embrace the chin hairs. If they are still attached, it's only because I somehow missed them in my morning mirror scrutiny routine. I've already instructed my daughter that when I get old and can't see them, which is apparently already the case, or am too gorked out to do anything about them, she is to help me out and tweeze baby tweeze.


Perhaps I should start wearing glasses for the morning face inspection or maybe I should invest in one of those scary magnification mirrors like they have in hotel bathrooms. I actually love those things cause I love to pop, pick and pluck. The biggest reason I don't yet have one is that I have a tendency to over pick my milia, tiny white cyst things, and look like I've been in battle. If I had one of those magnifying mirrors I could easily get out of control. Even without the special mirror I sometimes just go for it and end up slightly swollen and bloody and then try to drop in conversation that I've been to the dermatologist so people think a doctor did that to me. I actually have walked out of the dermatologist office looking pretty scary so it could happen. I should have been a dermatologist as I love to pop zits and stick needles in my little milia. I think dermatologists also have to look at random rashes and sometimes tell people they have skin cancer though and those things suck so probably best I don't start applying to med schools. 


The simultaneous zit and chin hair issue is why I'm particularly cross with Mother Nature. While not at peace with all these getting older body changes, I'm doing my best to deal with them. The random hairs, the gray hairs, the toll of pregnancies and gravity are all expected, but what up with the acne? Why do I need wrinkle cream and zit cream at the same time? Is it really necessary to relive teenage angst at the same time as dealing with middlish age angst? 


I call bullshit!


Peace & Love :-)