The Return of the Wine Fairy

Last night my Wine Fairy painting was returned to it's place of honor in my kitchen. My uber talented friend, Sharpie Fine Girl, created this piece for me to mark the occasion of my 40th birthday back in December. 

The Wine Fairy

When I initially brought The Wine Fairy home I carried her all over the house debating on the perfect spot for her finally determining the kitchen, where she could watch over my wine choices, was it.

She didn't grace the kitchen wall for too long before SFG wanted her back. How rude! SFG had been invited to show her artwork, but was mostly sold out of her paintings and needed to borrow back some pieces for the show. Pretty great problem to have I think. Because I am an awesome, supportive friend I acquiesced. 

Off went my Wine Fairy to be viewed by the masses leaving an empty spot on the wall that even Scott noticed. I hope nobody touched her! The show has been over for a couple months-ish, but it took SFG a while to get her back to me. Allegedly she "forgot" The Wine Fairy last month when I saw her, but perhaps there's more to the story.

I got her back last night and delivered her safely to my kitchen where she can watch over and protect me. Except for when I take her to the store where she will guide me in choosing excellent, low priced, delectable wine. Yes, she is that powerful and no, you may not borrow her. Maybe SFG knows her powers and that's why it took so long to get her back? Maybe SFG made a copy of my Wine Fairy and kept the original for herself? Wait... SFG is a beer girl so that doesn't even make sense. Whew. Close one!

peace & love ;-)

Conversations with Myself...Meh

Me: You haven't posted anything on your blog in a while.


Myself: Meh...


Me: Are you too busy?


Myself: Always busy, but that ain't it.


Me: Don't you have anything interesting or amusing to say? Some smart-ass thought that you can spin into a few paragraphs?


Myself: Meh...


Me: Don't you have any backasswards New Year's Resolutions to share?


Myself: If I read one more fucking blog post about New Year's Resolutions I'm going to stab a fork in my eye.


Me: Okay, not that then. Something about Wine?


Myself: I heart wine.


Me: Perhaps expand on that.


Myself: I REALLY heart wine and my new wine opener, wine glasses and awesome Wine Fairy painting that Sharpie Fine Girl painted just for me. Also, I need to get myself a vacuum wine sealer thingy cuz no one got me that. That is all. 


Me: A little rough, but you might could do something with that.


Myself: Meh...


Me: What about your new magnifying mirror and the hairy lip cream/waxing journey?


Myself: I have been toying with that one.


Me: I think you might have something there. Maybe go with that.


Myself: I did consider filming my home waxing for a video blog, but didn't. 


Me: What about that Pantry Moth War Victory post that you started?


Myself: Yeah, I should get back to that.


Me: Sounds like you've got some possibilities. I say pour yourself a glass of wine, stand in the moth free pantry for a bit and then go stare at your magnified and lit up face and see what kind of brilliance strikes.


Myself: Meh... I guess a glass of wine couldn't hurt. 


Peace & Love :-)

Cock, Paper, Scissors!

I've been trying to come up with a clever name for the other blog that I write which currently is just the company's name and logo. They sell paper and stuff kinda like Dunder Mifflin except the boss is super sexy and very smart. This afternoon I texted Sharpie Fine Girl to see if she had any ideas for me. These are excerpts of our texting.

Me: Trying to think of a clever name for Company X's blog. Ideas?

SFG: Maybe some play on rock, paper, scissors. Paper & scissors rock! Cock, paper, scissors for your new porn site.

Me: Cock, paper, scissors it is!

SFG: Something do to with running with scissors?

Me: I like the running w/ scissors idea. If I can stop fixating on cock, maybe I can do something with that.

SFG: Thanks now all I can think about is Rep Weiner Cock Pix...guess there's worse things to have stuck in ur head...head see there I go again...

SFG: More for the office porn site... There could be a sidebar entitled "today's pos-tits" and a site map offering pix of "boxes", "hole punch" and "clips, fasteners, rubber bands and binding" for our S & M friends. 

Then I spent the next 2 hours trying to get  'Cock, Paper, Scissors!' to stop looping in my head so I could think of something appropriate. I did manage to jot down a few decent ideas, but I kept getting interrupted by my own adolescent giggling. Other inappropriate ideas I've had include:

Cut The Cheese

Cut The Shit

Paper Fetish

Paper Cut A Bitch

I even took a shower so I could think and still couldn't quiet the loop. I'm hoping this post will let me get it out of my system, clear my head and move on. Thanks for the cock block Sharpie Fine Girl!

Peace & Love :-)

HEAR YE! HEAR YE!

Welcome to The Musings of Lil Tirade Blog. Lil Tirade is my gang name. No, I'm not actually in a gang. I'm a middle class chick rounding the bend to 40 and am not nor have I ever been in a gang. I was in a sorority in college. That's a little bit like being in a gang. Also, I'm on PTA, in a Mom's Group and I have a tattoo. I guess it's all in how you define gang. 

I couldn't get a very sharp picture of my bad ass panda tattoo. You can't tell here, but it's purplish. It started out a nice purple, but has faded a bit in the last 19 years. There is a story behind the purple panda tattoo. Maybe I will tell you sometime. I have said many times I should get the color redone. Maybe for the sake of the blog. Maybe.

My friend, Sharpie Fine Girl, bestowed the Lil Tirade name upon me. Even though I'm a good person, I'm smart, I'm good enough and gosh darn it people like me, I am prone to rants about seemingly inconsequential things and thus the name fits. Sharpie Fine Girl also christened the rest of our posse with gang names that I now can't remember. I thought they must be in an old email somewhere, but when I searched "gang names" in my email account- nada! Maybe my posse remembers what their names are. Maybe not. The hilarious gang name emails where awhile back. I remember mine because I've been using it as a screen name elsewhere. Maybe Sharpie Fine Girl (not her gang name btw) will give out new gang names to those desiring of them who didn't like can't remember their original ones. 

One of those friends whose gang name I can't remember, let's call her Green Thumb Lassie or GTL- kinda like Gym, Tan, Laundry, except not at all- apparently told me some time ago that I should blog. I don't remember that GTL told me so, but she insists that she did so it must have gotten stuck in my subconscious and been rattling around trying to rise to the top. 

Also, because I have decided to make it so, I am morphing into a Social Media Expert and have graciously offered my talents to a local business that I have close ties to. Among the social media things I am doing for said business is blogging. It's fun. It's a good outlet. I like it. I will continue to do it, but that blog can only take so much of my random nonbusiness related ramblings. I'm finding myself thinking in blog form about very random stuff. So I decided why the fuck, shit, hell,  blazes not!?! Profanity is also not appropriate on the aforementioned business blog probably and I feel it has it's place- for random emphasis and whatnot. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that you were warned way up at the top in the blog description "NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!" That is the only disclaimer I'm doing.

Peace & Love :-)