Me: You've been lagging on the posting again.
Myself: So.
Me: It's been 12 days.
Myself: Your the only one who's counting.
Me: What about all your fans?
Myself: Yeah, Mom is probably very sad.
Me: Other people besides Mom read the blog.
Myself: Right. I do have 10s of fans. There's Sharpie Fine Girl, a few other peeps, and some "blogging friends". Also there is a person or persons who regularly read in Russia.
Me: Um, yeah, how did you get Russian fans?
Myself: I have no fucking idea, but it's kinda cool. I hope they aren't KGB spying on me.
Me: A) The cold war is over. B) Why would anyone want to spy on you? C) If they were spies don't you think they could cover their internet tracks better than that? & 4) According to wikipedia, the KGB was only in operation in Russian until 1991.
Myself: A) I know. B) I have the perfect wife/mother/suburban cover. I could be a bad ass spy. C) Good point. & 4) That's what they want you to think!
Me: You would make a shitty spy.
Myself: Not true.
Me: You don't know any foreign languages, you don't know how to handle firearms, you have a problem staying awake past 9pm...
Myself: Wait. What? What does staying up late have to do with being a spy. Can't I do my spying during the day?
Me: Spies sometimes have to have meetings late at night or go under cover in a casino.
Myself: Casinos are totally open 24 hours a day. Duh.
Me: What about the language and gun things.
Myself: Learning a foreign language would be my limiting factor. I could spy in Canada or England maybe. I might be able to do accents. When I was 12 and went to Space Camp in Alabama for a week, I came home with a southern accent that took me a month to shake.
Me: I don't think there's a need for spies in Alabama.
Myself: That's what they want you to think!
Me: And the guns?
Myself: While I have no current interest in arming myself, if I were going to be a spy I would learn how to use a gun and I would be bad ass at it.
Me: This is ridiculous! You've watched too much Homeland.
Myself: Don't forget Pan Am. They have those Stewardess Spies.
peace & love ;-).
Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, September 26, 2011
I Call Bullshit!
I think most people most of the time can relate to that feeling of 'it's always something'. We have progressed from 'it's always something' to 'when it rains it pours' and I am calling bullshit!
I am the first one to admit that my current problems are small in the grand scheme of things. We are happy, have a home, an income, good kids, blah, blah, blah, but that doesn't make all the day to day bullshit any less bullshitty. This morning when the boy child started puking all I could think was "are you fucking kidding me?" Obviously, it's very sad to have a puking child at any juncture, but I was selfishly focusing on how it was just one more thing in the recent quagmire of bullshit.
Let me back up and 'splain a bit.
Around here it's been one ridiculous thing after another. We are still dealing with the raccoon and the moths. Although we were assured by several sources that if we cut off the raccoon's food supply for several days it would wander elsewhere, it showed up in our garage last night after not having access for an entire week. Either it really likes us or it was smart enough to realize that eventually we'd forget to shut the cat door overnight. The moth saga continues (get the latest body count here) and my pantry OCD is soaring to new heights.
In addition to all the animal fun, Scott and the girl child have poison oak. Scott got it 2 weeks ago while cutting back a jungle area in our yard. He'd never had it before and initially thought the scratches on his arm were just scratches from a branch. He kept getting new spots and got itchier and itchier and uncomfortabler and uncomfortabler until he finally went to the doctor last week. Our daughter's case isn't nearly as bad as Scott's, but she and Scott now have an assortment of pills and washes and creams. I don't have it, but I start to itch all over when they are comparing spots and rubbing various concoctions about their bodies. Our son does not seem to have poison oak, but he did have some unexplained red bumps on his torso for a couple days. They are getting better, however, this morning he puked and he has a low grade fever. I think the puking and fever are unrelated to his fading spots, but can't guarantee it. Unlikely his pediatrician could confirm or deny it at this juncture so I'm not even asking.
My parents are supposed to visit this weekend. After hearing the updates on all our sagas including the newest addition of a puking child, my Mom seemed slightly less sure about coming here. She was being all humorous about it, but I think there might be some actual concern over purposefully placing herself under the black cloud hovering over my house. Go figure.
Peace & Love :-)
I am the first one to admit that my current problems are small in the grand scheme of things. We are happy, have a home, an income, good kids, blah, blah, blah, but that doesn't make all the day to day bullshit any less bullshitty. This morning when the boy child started puking all I could think was "are you fucking kidding me?" Obviously, it's very sad to have a puking child at any juncture, but I was selfishly focusing on how it was just one more thing in the recent quagmire of bullshit.
Let me back up and 'splain a bit.
Around here it's been one ridiculous thing after another. We are still dealing with the raccoon and the moths. Although we were assured by several sources that if we cut off the raccoon's food supply for several days it would wander elsewhere, it showed up in our garage last night after not having access for an entire week. Either it really likes us or it was smart enough to realize that eventually we'd forget to shut the cat door overnight. The moth saga continues (get the latest body count here) and my pantry OCD is soaring to new heights.
In addition to all the animal fun, Scott and the girl child have poison oak. Scott got it 2 weeks ago while cutting back a jungle area in our yard. He'd never had it before and initially thought the scratches on his arm were just scratches from a branch. He kept getting new spots and got itchier and itchier and uncomfortabler and uncomfortabler until he finally went to the doctor last week. Our daughter's case isn't nearly as bad as Scott's, but she and Scott now have an assortment of pills and washes and creams. I don't have it, but I start to itch all over when they are comparing spots and rubbing various concoctions about their bodies. Our son does not seem to have poison oak, but he did have some unexplained red bumps on his torso for a couple days. They are getting better, however, this morning he puked and he has a low grade fever. I think the puking and fever are unrelated to his fading spots, but can't guarantee it. Unlikely his pediatrician could confirm or deny it at this juncture so I'm not even asking.
My parents are supposed to visit this weekend. After hearing the updates on all our sagas including the newest addition of a puking child, my Mom seemed slightly less sure about coming here. She was being all humorous about it, but I think there might be some actual concern over purposefully placing herself under the black cloud hovering over my house. Go figure.
Peace & Love :-)
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